I Never Considered Myself to be the Model Type- Babies 56 and 57

"MOTHER DEAREST!" Being screamed at in the early hours of the morning by your teenage son is one of the most annoying ways to start your day. Toffee towered over me, smiling triumphantly at me.

"Toffee?" I asked sleepily, rubbing my eyes. "What the-- What are you doing?"

"Mom, Erik and I decided we wanted to go to the beach with the family since Caramel will be coming home later today. What do you think? We also thought it might be a good idea to have some fun before we age up and leave this house forever."

I sighed and propped myself up on my elbows. "Yeah, sounds fun. I'll go make breakfast while you get Louise ready for the day, then we can leave. Sound good?"

He nodded and ran out of the room. An hour and a half ready, Caramel was back in his rightful place in our house, and we were preparing to set out to the beach. "ONWARD!" Toffee shouted, pointing in the direction of the car. "ONWARD WE MUST GO!"

The kids piled into the car, Louise gurgling happily in her car seat. Erik sang to the song as we drove, which irritated his older brothers. When we arrived at the beach, the three boys tripped over each other, eager to get into the salty water. "You three be careful!" I yelled after them. "And keep a close eye on Erik!"

I picked up the toddler and walked her over to the newly installed spring riders. "Mama! Me wanna pway on the howsey!" Louise sang, wiggling in my arms the closer we got to the metal horse.

"I know, I know, we're almost there," I assured her. Once we were just inches away from the play horse, I plopped Louise in it. She bounced and swayed on the spring rider for five minutes until I decided to set out my beach towel and umbrella and settled down to watch Erik, Toffee and Caramel play in the water.

A good four hours later, after swimming, tanning, eating burgers and hotdogs, making sandcastles and burying each other in the soft terrain, we packed up and went home, full and happy. Once we got to our orange sanctuary, I aged the kids up.

Caramel and Toffee aren't exactly friends, but they no longer hate each other like they used to. Their flirty personalities faded as they got older, and surprisingly, neither of them have girlfriends and don't plan to for a while (Quinn and Toffee broke up). Neither of them wanted jobs, so to save some money they moved in together, even though they aren't exactly on the best terms.

Erik's imagination was still running wild, even as a teen. He decided to practice art so that others could see what he comes up with in his head. He began dating Theresa, and they were going strong, which made Erik extremely happy. He spent every waking moment with her, and even though I missed my son, I couldn't possibly ask him to stop seeing her so much since it made him so excited.

Louise changed a lot as a child. She had a strong obsession with death and the color black, and since her room is bright colors and filled with girly toys, she prefers to sleep in the boys' room. She also developed a love for dance. She loves to come home after class and show me her new moves that she learned. Not only is it a super fun activity for her, but it's also amazing exercise. Another plus is it kept her away from our many electronics, something I liked to see in my kids.

Chloe and Lincoln were extremely adorable little tots. They never left each other's sides, and were really fussy when I took one away from the other. Lincoln was a little mischief maker, constantly causing me trouble and going missing. I'd usually find him in the laundry basket and it was completely beyond me as to how he managed to get in it every time, since it's so tall and he's so short. Chloe liked music, and was usually found in front of the xylophone. She was really catching on and could play songs like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Old McDonald.

I began searching through my challenge father request emails. There were a lot of good potential donors, but the one that caught my eye was another male version of a challenge mother. This time his name was Calvin Smitt, Calista Smith's male lookalike. It was beginning to be a little odd because I didn't think there could possibly be this many, but I bookmarked his page and got to work on my usual chores since I wasn't quite ready to get pregnant yet. 

After cooking dinner, cleaning the house and giving Chloe and Lincoln baths, I settled onto a beanbag and turned on Gnomeo and Juliet with the kids, excluding Erik (he wanted to work on his latest painting instead). Once the movie finished, I put the toddlers in their cribs and sent Louise to bed (after much complaining on her end).

As I was just settling into bed, the phone began to ring. I flung myself off of my mattress and picked up the phone, putting it up to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey there. Is this Paisley Parker?" The voice on the other end was a masculine sounding man, completely the opposite of what I was expecting to hear. Usually, the only people that call are my challenge mother friends.

"Yes, may I ask who this is?"

"Of course. This is William Johnson. I'm a photographer for Mother Mania Magazine. We had your friend Skye Everard model for us once, and she recommended you for future reference. I was wondering if you'd like to do us the honor of modeling for us as well?"

Dumbfounded at his request, I stuttered, "O-of course. I'd love to!"

"Great! Do you think you could come down tomorrow at two to Central Park? There, you will have your hair and makeup done, after which you'll have your pictures taken. It's as easy as that, and shouldn't take more than three hours."

"Sounds good. See you then!" After hanging up, I prepared myself mentally for what was ahead of me. I didn't like having my picture taken, seeing as I'm ridiculously self conscious. It really didn't help that my picture was being taken for a magazine that was sold nationally. I sighed. Time to suck it up, Parker! The amusing part about that thought, was it was in Skye's voice. I spend way too much time with her.

When I arrived at the park, I plastered an extremely fake, but hopefully appealing smile onto my face, and walked over to where they had all of the cameras set up. "Um, hello," I said, feeling more and more nervous by the second. "I'm Paisley Parker. Is there a William Johnson here?" I directed my question to a petite red haired girl, her freckled face turning up into a smile when she heard my name.

"Oh hello Miss Parker! I'm Jenny, but you can call me Jen!" Jen bounced around me, ecstatic about something. "Mr. Johnson is busy setting up shop, so he asked me to bring you to get your hair done when you arrive! And look! You've arrived! Follow me!" She led me to an area of the park closed off by partitions. "Kelly," Jen started, her green eyes focused on a tiny blonde girl, who at first glance appeared to be anorexic, but as I watched her closely, I knew that wasn't right because she was stuffing her face with cupcakes. Damn girl with her fast metabolism.  "This is Paisley Parker, she's ready to get her hair done. Send her in to get her makeup put on when you're finished." Jen walked out of the hair area and left me alone with Kelly.

"Hello, I'm Kelly Martin, I'll be your hair stylist," she said, shaking my hand. "I'm sorry if Jen caused you any annoyance. She's been William's right hand woman for years now, and even though she bugs the crap out of everyone, he keeps her around."

"She annoys even William?" I asked. Kelly nodded as she pulled out some scissors and a brush. "Then why does he keep her around?"

Kelly shrugged. "They dated once a while back, and he just never fired her. Have a seat." She gestured towards a stool placed in front of a mirror surrounded by lights. She began chopping at my hair, not giving me enough time to protest. I looked terrible with short hair! My hair was my favorite part about me, she couldn't just chop it all off!

"Stop!" I shouted, causing Kelly to jump a little where she stood.

"E-excuse me?"

"My hair! Don't cut my hair!"

"I'm sorry Miss Parker, but I have to. Mr. Johnson requested that you have short hair for the shoot."

"I don't give a crap what Mr. Johnson wants!" I trilled, not meaning to sound like a complete bitch, but 

unfortunately, that's what I sounded like. "I like my long hair, and you can't cut it!" 

"I-I'm sorry ma'am," she stuttered, "but it's too late." She pointed to the mirror and when I looked at my reflection, I was shocked to see that she had already taken a great amount of my beautiful, orange hair off of my head. "Just let me finish or else you're going to look like a dwarf."

I sighed. "Fine, I'm sorry I shouted. I was just caught off guard," I said, covering my face in shame.

Kelly giggled, causing me to look at her in curiosity. "It's totally fine, Miss Parker, that isn't the first time that's happened to me. I've worked with a lot of mean girls before, and you aren't one of them. I promise, it's fine." 

After about twenty minutes of her clipping away at my orange locks, (not allowing me to look in the mirror, I might add) she turned the stool around, letting me look at myself. "Viola!" she said giddily. "I present to thee, your new look! SHAZAM, PARKER! MEET YOUR MAGNIFICENT LOOKING DOOM! YOU SEXY BEAST!"

I laughed happily. My hair looked great! Much better than I was expecting. I was actually glad that I got it cut! I never thought I'd be able to say that!

"Well," Kelly started, putting away her supplies, "it's time to get your makeup done. Follow me." She led me to another closed off area that looked almost exactly the same, mirror, stool and all. The only difference was instead of a small blonde girl in the center of the room, there was a larger, black haired woman that didn't greet me with a smile like the rest of the staff did, but with a cold, goosebump-causing glare.

"Meredith, this is the model, Paisley. Paisley, this is Meredith, your makeup... person. Work your magic, Merry!" Kelly said, skipping away.

"Sit," Meredith commanded, pointing at the stool identical to the one in the other partitioned area.

I obeyed, after which she began applying my makeup. After about five minutes, she pulled away, grabbing me by the wrist (which, from her hard grip, caused a bruise later on) and brought me to yet another partitioned area, when I brunette man approached me with a smile on his tan face, his teeth a pure shade of white.

"Hello Miss Parker, I'm William Johnson," he said, extending his hand.

I accepted, and said, "Ah, finally, I get to meet the mastermind behind this operation. I've been anxious to get to see you."

He laughed. "Well, it's great to finally meet you too, Paisley. I've been really excited to get to take your picture. I think out of all the models, you are going to look the best in front of the camera."

"He says that about all the models," Jen interjected as she walked briskly past us.

William sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, that's true, I do say that about all of my models, but I actually mean it about you."

I giggled and said, "Well thank you, sir, that's very sweet of you to say. So, what do I do?"

"Just stand there and look pretty. Strike some poses for me. Every time the camera flashes, change your position to anything you see fit. We'll pick the best ones later on. It's that simple."

(a few (or a lot) of my personal favorites ^^)

I nodded and stood where I was as he walked back behind the set of camera. Kelly came up to me a moment later. "Hey, about what Jen said... She's still really attached to William, and she feels threatened--even though there's nothing to be threatened-- especially because he's never treated a model so warmly. Usually, after feeding them that line he fed to you, he's really cold towards them... All business, you know? So, I'd keep your guard up when you go to restaurants. I wouldn't put poisoning people past her." With that, she turned on her heel and walked away. I stood, dumbfounded, as William shouted, "Pose!"

For the next two hours, I posed in any way that came to mind as the cameras flashed. When I finished, I walked to the refreshment table and began stuffing myself with cupcakes and punch. I spent the next half hour talking to Kelly about my challenge and all of the people she's had to work with (earning quite a few laughs out of me--she's worked with some real tools).

"Alright people, we're closing up shop!" shouted William, earning everyone's undivided attention. "Thanks to all who helped make this possible, I will see you next week." I sighed gratefully--my feet felt like I had been walking around Disney Land all day--and said my goodbyes to Kelly.

"It was really nice meeting you, if you're ever in town again we should really go out together," I said, sneaking one last cupcake.

"Alright, that would be really cool," Kelly replied, grinning helplessly and walking away awkwardly.

As I was about to leave the park, someone tapped my shoulder. "Paisley?" William said as I turned around.

"Yes?"

"Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to go out to dinner sometime?"

This request caught me off guard. "I-I'm sorry William, I'm flattered, but I'm just really not looking for that kind of thing right now. It really would be nice, but... I'm... I'm sorry. Maybe if you're still single after my challenge we could--"

"Oh no, it's cool," he said, raising his hands in a defensive way. "Really, it's fine. I was just wondering, since you're so pretty and you seem really nice and cool."

My cheeks started burning and I knew that I was blushing like an idiot. Raising my hand to my mouth, as I tended to do when I was embarrassed, I said, "That's really sweet of you William. Thank you."

He smiled crookedly. "Well, if you change your mind," he said, handing me his business card. "Just call that number."

I gave him my warmest smile, rubbing my wrist, one of the many things I do when I get nervous. "Thanks William, I'll be sure to. Maybe we could still hang out as friends sometime, though?"

"Oh yeah!" he said, clearly not getting what he wanted out of that conversation. "That would be great! Call me sometime, 'kay?" I nodded, letting him know I understood, and he turned and walked away, leaving me free to go home.

Home had never sounded so good to me, believe it or not. When I got there, I was bombarded by Skye and 

Chloe, who, for reasons unknown, were let in by Erik (he claims he did it because they're super cute and he wants them to have his babies).

Question after question was thrown at me, leaving me barely any time to answer one of them.

"What was it like?"

"Was it fun?"

"Was the photographer nice?"

"PLEASE TELL ME YOU SCORED SOME CUPCAKES."

That last one was Skye, if that wasn't obvious. "Slow down, guys, please!" I begged, sitting down on the couch in the living room. "My two very best friends, I've barely had any time for myself today. I'm pooped, in all honesty. Speaking of which, I need to go to the bathroom. Gimme a minute," I said, pushing myself up and running away.

No, I didn't actually need to go to the bathroom. I'm just great at making excuses. After about twenty minutes of hiding myself in my room, I heard footsteps towards the bathroom and Skye yell, "PARKER! YOU TAKE FOREVER TO DUMP! HURRY!"

"Skye," came Chloe's sighing voice, "have some class." They both giggled, leaving me to myself for about twenty more minutes, until they realized I wasn't actually in the bathroom, but hiding instead.

"Parker," Skye said, opening the door, followed shortly after by Chloe. They both sat down gently on my bed, staring at me worriedly. "Are you okay?"

"We're sorry that we're intruding, Paisley, we just wanted to see how it went," Chloe apologized, running her fingers through her blue hair.

I smiled weakly at my friends. "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have hid from you two. I'm just super tired, and I still have my kids to worry about. Oh crap, where are my kids!?"

"Calm down, calm down, they're in the basement watching T.V. Did you know that Spongebob can really get their attention?"

"Skye, I could've told you that," Chloe said, taking my teal haired friend by the hand and pulling her away. "I'm sorry Paisley, we'll leave. But we'll be back. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but trust me, we'll be back." With that, they left my house, Skye and Chloe both humming creepy music as they backed out of the room.

I finally got the chance to fall asleep, and when I awoke the next morning, I remembered that I hadn't gotten pregnant yet, so I ran down to the sperm bank to pick up Mr. Smitt's contribution to my challenge. When I got back, Louise stopped me on my way to the kitchen.

"Mumzy," she drawled, bouncing up to me in her ballet dress.

"Yes hon?"

"I wanna show you the new move that I learned in class today! Can I?" I nodded and she twirled gracefully, 

landing neatly on her feet. I smiled widely and gave her a hug.

"That was really great Lou! I'm proud of you!"

"Also Mom, I was wondering if maybe I could go to the graveyard tonight? Pleeeeeeease?"

My daughter's obsession with death and ghosts was honestly starting to freak me out, but I had to let her do some things she liked, even though it wasn't exactly normal to me. "Fine. That's fine, I guess. Just... be careful, 'kay? I don't want you getting hurt."

She nodded and after changing out of her dress, ran out the door and headed to the graveyard.

*~Louise's Point of View~*

I called up my friend Jeremy before I left and asked him to meet me at the cemetery. When I got there, he was standing next to the big pond in the center, inching closer and closer to dipping his bare foot into the water. "Jeremy? What the fudge are you doing?" I hollered, making my way towards the little creep. Sure, I considered him my best friend, but let's be honest here, he's weird! But I am too, I know, so it's all good.

At school, I'm known as "Death Girl." The other kids make fun of me, just because I like skeletons and have a fascination with horror movies. Well, that's what I call it, but once I overheard Erik telling Mommy that it's a freak obsession that needs to come to an end. He once walked in on me binge watching my horror movies, and got freaked out. After that experience, my dear brother refused to talk to me.

Although it makes everyone else uneasy to be around me, Mom's never said anything about it. She encourages me to be myself! That's what I really love about Mommy: she accepts us kids no matter what!

I walked over to the pond, grabbing Jeremy's wrist and pulling him back. "You're such an idiot," I whispered into his ear. "You're going to fall in and make our mom's mad. You already do enough of that, so just come with me." I led him to the back of the cemetery, behind the mausoleum where the weeds grow around the graves. That's also the area that freaks most of the kids at my school out, which makes it all the more awesome to spend time in!

"What're we doing back here, Lou?" Jeremy asked, looking around, freaked out like the baby he is. "It's getting dark. Look! The sun's already set!"

"No need to point out the obvious, Jer," I snapped, setting down the backpack I brought and pulling out a blanket. "We could be here for a while, so I figured I'd bring some treats to help us pass the time."

"Um, okay, but Lou, what exactly are we doing here? You know how creeped out graveyards make me." I could see he was starting to shake, but that didn't faze me: I was going to stay here as long as I had to.

"I told you the other day that I saw a ghost, and you said you'd believe it when you see it, so this is what we're doing. I'm going to make you believe that I saw a ghost!"

Jeremy's shaking got quicker and more noticeable after I said this, causing me to have a little bit more sympathy for him. Of course, not enough to leave, but sympathy all the same. "T-that's ridiculous," he stuttered uneasily, "ghosts don't exist! That's absolutely stupid! Lou, I love you, but this isn't right. It's getting really dark, and you know how scared I am of the dark."

"Calm down ya big wimp." Moments later, the tombstone closest to us started shaking, and a long moan echoed throughout the graveyard.

"YAHHHH!" Jeremy screamed, jumping to his feet.

"Calm down, this is normal!" I assured him, staying right where I was.

"You're a big freak!" he screamed, causing me to doubt my choice in friends.

"Shut up you fat jerk!" I shouted back.

He gasped. "You know how sensitive I am about my weight, you evil hag!"

"That's why I said it, Porkers!"

The tombstone shook harder and faster, and a transparent man popped out of it. "AHH!" Jeremy yelped, slipping on the grass and making a break for it out of the graveyard.

"You're such a baby!" I yelled after him, packed up my bag and walked out. "Geez, what a boob. I told him ghosts exist. He must've been in denial. Can't really deny that, can you?" I mumbled to myself as I walked home.

The next day at school, Jeremy walked up to me, adjusting his backpack to a more comfortable position. 

"Hey Lou," he greeted. "Sorry about last night. I didn't mean any of the things I said."

"That's fine, but I did," I replied and walked to class. I wasn't really the nicest person, and I expected Jeremy to put up with it. Whenever he got really mad at me, I told him if he didn't like my personality, he could leave. That always shut him up.

After a few days, Jer eventually came around to the idea of ghosts, but never to the fact that I liked to head to the graveyard each night and watch them come out of their graves. That was fine, since I never really expected him to participate willingly in the first place.

However, not every graveyard visit ended the same way: one day, after coming home from ghost watching, I walked through the door and was greeted by Erik freaking out in the foyer. "What the-- What's going on?"

"Mom's in labor!" he shouted, jumping up and down.

I sighed. "Some big brother you are. She does this all the time. Calm down."

A few hours later, Mom introduced us to the newest additions to our family: Molly and Simon Parker!