I Think We Need a Recount!: Babies 39, 40, 41, 42 and 43

The days after Thomas was born were easy. Too easy. It was strange. The only time it had been this easy was when Jack was a toddler. In fact, this time around it was so easy the days blurred and turned into weeks. After nearly a month, I decided I wanted to age the kids up.

"Kids!" I called through the house. "Birthday time! Get down here!"

Jack still likes to kiss me on the cheeks. Although he may not be able to do it ever again considering this is probably the last time I'll see him. 

Skye is a VERY giddy girl! She loves talking to her friends (more than to me) and is constantly out of the house. I worry sometimes that something will happen to her...

Hadlee and Amber do EVERYTHING together! They dress the same, talk the same (sometimes in Spanish ^.^) and even finish each other's sentences! 

Since you can't see in this picture, all you need to know is Thomas has his father's nose. Since he doesn't like me very much I don't have very much to tell you about him. Read down a little bit and you'll understand... 

I quickly realized that this group of kids was going to leave me a lot of free time. Hadlee and Amber enjoyed playing together, which meant that there were two kids I hardly needed to take care of. 

Skye was often out with her friends doing who-knows-what. She was constantly getting invited to parties or in her room talking on the phone.

Thomas was the only one that required any of my time and that was limited. After I taught him his skills he spent most of his time in the playroom. I hardly ever fed him, either. He had a bottle that I only refilled every few hours and a potty and toys to keep him busy. I felt really bad but he didn't want my attention. Whenever I tried to play with him he asked me if he could play with his toys alone. It made me sad but I respected his wishes.

After a few days of sitting around the house feeling bad for myself, I remembered Jesse. I brought out my phone and called him up. "Hey Paisley!" he exclaimed once he answered. "MY FLOWER! MY REASON FOR EXISTING! THE WIND BENEATH MY--"
"Well hi to you too," I interrupted. "Someone's happy! Would you like to go to the beach and have a picnic with me?" His excitement pumped me up and brought me out of my pity party.
"Sounds great! Meet you there in ten!" he said and hung up the phone.
"Well then..." I said, confused. I guess just because I wasn't all that happy with my day didn't mean he wasn't.

Ten minutes later I met him at the beach, his pearly white teeth constantly showing through his smile. "Hello

my beautiful black haired beauty," he said, sliding down to one knee and grabbing my hand.

I giggled. "Why hello. What's got you so excited?"
"You," was his simple reply. "You have got me excited. Shall we eat? I'm starved!"
He bounced away to the nearest empty spot on the sand. We picked a good day to go to the beach because it was dead. He plopped down and set out the blanket. I walked over and set the basket down, smiling at him and wondering what he could possibly be so happy about. Me? That was a strange thing to say. Who would be excited about me?

"Did you make this?" he asked as he dug into his hot dog.
I grinned. "Yes. I made it in the diner's kitchen because mine was being used," I said sarcastically.
He chuckled. "I'll take that as a no?"
We ate our dinner happily, talking about this and that. Eventually though, our past relationships came up. I winced as he told me about the lead singer of his college band that he used to date. I winced because I knew I would have to tell him about James. And Jack.

When I did though he sat and listened quietly, his smile fading slowly. I was worried that he wouldn't like me for some reason. I didn't know why, but I was worried.
When I finished telling him everything he cocked his head and frowned, eyeing me. "That jerk," he said angrily.
That surprised me. "Huh?" I asked, extremely confused.
"James is a jerk. He let go of the best thing that could've happened to him. I hope he's miserable with that chick he married. I hope he regrets losing you everyday and is constantly thinking about you." He smiled and continued. "Although not too much because you're mine now."
I smiled wide. He made me feel happy inside. Genuinely happy. I didn't force myself to be happy. I just was.

When I didn't say anything, just smiling, he said, "Hey."
It brought me out of my trance. "Hmm?"
"Would you like to go to the pool for a swim?"
"I don't have a swim suit," I replied, my confusion not going away.
He grinned. "You don't need one."
My mouth dropped open as he grabbed my hand and we ran to his car and drove to the public pool.

"Jesse!" I yelled as he slipped off his shirt. "We can't do this!"
"And just why not?" he asked smugly, showing off his abs. That jerk.
"Be- because this is a public place! What if a child shows up?"
"It's way past curfew. No child is going to be showing up. And if they do our excuse to their parents will be their child scarred themselves for life."
I giggled. "Jesse!" I yelled, trying my hardest to act serious. When that failed and I burst out laughing I took off my shirt and threw it at him. "You're going to pay for this, you jerk!"
"Well it looks like someone is just desperate to be with me!"
I rolled my eyes. "In your dreams lover boy. I'm only doing this to show you I'm no baby."
"That thought never even crossed my mind," he said, flexing his arms.
"You butt!" I yelled, slipping off my pants. By now it was just my bra and underwear. I felt quite uncomfortable being half naked.

He slipped off his pants, revealing his boxers. I backed up as he took a step towards me. "No Jesse, I can't do this," I stuttered.

"Why not?" he asked, still approaching me.
"Because... I've never... skinny dipped before."
"You're not skinny dipping. You have on underwear. And so do I. It's okay. We're alone."
I turned around to run but he was quicker than me. He picked me up and slung me over his shoulder. I started to bang on his back. "LET ME GO!" I yelled, secretly hoping he wouldn't obey me.
"Sorry beauty," he said, getting closer to the pool. My eyes went wide as I realized what he was planning on doing.
"NO!" I screamed. But it was too late. I went flying into the pool, Jesse jumping in after me. After a moment, we both came back up.

I turned my back to him. "Hmph," I said.
"Aw, come on Pais! I'm sorry but it had to be done."
"Oh? And just why did making me get naked and throwing me into the pool have to be done!?" I exclaimed. I wasn't angry, in fact I was fighting back laughter, but I wanted to scare him.
"Wh-what? I was just being funny!"
I was about to tell him I never wanted to see him again to make him pay, but what he said next caught me off guard.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked shyly, hanging his head.

I turned around and swam over to him. "Of course," I said, planting my lips on his. "I was hoping you'd ask sooner. But this will do."
We continued to kiss for a while until I began to get very tired. "I need to go home," I said as I pulled myself out of the pool, slipping my shirt and pants on.
He formed a crooked smile. "No you don't," he said, coming out after me.
"Jesse," I sighed. "I have my kids to think about."
"Wait a second. Weren't you telling me earlier about how they don't need you? About how they're all independent? Why don't you take advantage of that?"
I sighed, wishing I could stay out all night with him. "Jess, my kids will worry and wonder why I was out all night. It's already midnight."
"They haven't called yet, right?"
"No..." I replied, looking at my phone.
"Then they obviously aren't worried. Let's go back up to the waterfall, and..."
He didn't need to finish that sentence. I smiled. "Let's go!" I exclaimed, grabbing his hand. As we ran by his clothes he picked them up and we got in his car.

We cranked the music up, singing terribly off key the whole way. We laughed most of the time, not really singing. When we got to the waterfall we hopped out of the car and fell to the ground, kissing.
A little while later I fell asleep mid kiss. He positioned me comfortably and fell asleep too, holding on to me tight.

In the morning I opened my eyes and looked at him, he was looking at me, smiling. "Well hello there sleeping beauty. I thought you'd never wake up!"
"Huh?" I grunted, forgetting where I was for a moment. "Oh... What time is it?"
He looked at his watch. "Noon. You must've been tired. Man! You slept like a freaking--"
"Don't you dare say baby."
"Like a tired baby..."
I chuckled. "What would you like to do today?"
"Don't you have to take care of your kids?"
A completely irresponsible thought crossed my mind, and you know what? I went with it. "They'll call me if they need me."
He grinned and pulled me up. "Would you like to go to my mom's house to get some clean clothes and underwear?"

I burst out laughing. "No! That's gross! There's a limit to what I'm going to ask Skye for! Besides, it might gross her out to know what her son was doing with her best friend last night."
This got a laugh out of him. "Very true. Well we could go buy some. I need some new underwear too..."
So off we went to the discount clothing store. We were there for five minutes and I came out with some new clothes.

"Spiffy," he said simply as he finished paying for his underwear.
I walked over to pay for my new clothes but he grabbed my hand. "What?" I demanded.
"I already paid."
"Oh," I said, pulling out my wallet. "Well here--"
"Put it back. You're my girlfriend. This is my treat. Now what would you like to do today?"

I thought about it for a minute. "Hm... I don't know! We could go to your place!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around his neck.
After I said that it must've triggered a thought. "No. Let's go to your place! Your kids are at school, right?"
I furrowed my eye brows. "Yes?" I asked, confused.
"Good. Let us go, then, shall we?" he asked, opening the door, making his voice sound "fancy."
"Thank you sir," I said, adding a British accent.

We drove to my house and when we got there he grabbed my hand and we ran upstairs to my room. "What are we doing?" I asked, completely confused. "We can't go what I think you want to do! It's the middle of the day! My kids will be home soon!"
"Oh shut up," he said jokingly. "That is not what I want to do!"
When I frowned he looked shocked.
"No! That's not what I mean! I mean... I want to but I had something else in mind. Um--"
I starting laughing. He raised a brow. "Jesse!" I exclaimed, still laughing. "It's okay! What did you have in mind?"

He opened the door to my balcony, allowing me to go first. I looked at the guitar and smiled. "Jesse!" I said, grinning. "Are you going to play the guitar for me?"
"Yeah!" he exclaimed, picking it up. "I wrote a song for you. I know it's cheesy but I was bored and started thinking of you..." He trailed off once he noticed I was smiling.
"It's not cheesy," I said, walking over to him and kissing him. "It's cute. Now play," I instructed, pulling myself onto the railing.
He smiled and began.

I sat there, grinning like an idiot as he sang his song that he wrote for me. When he finished I jumped on him, knocking him off of his feet and onto the floor. I started kissing him all over his face.
"Geez!" he said in between breaths. "You're a mad woman!"
I laughed, still kissing him.

"EW!!" my daughter's voice cut me off.
Jesse and I both looked up at her and all three of us began laughing.
"Jess maybe you better go," I said, standing up. "I have plans for the girls."
"Alright," he said as he gave me one last kiss. "See you later."

"Plans?" Skye asked, showing clearly fake fear in her eyes. "What plans?"
"Girls!" I called down the stairs, ignoring Skye.
"MOM!" she exclaimed. "WHAT PLANS!?"

I went downstairs to find Hadlee and Amber playing merrily on the ground. "What?" they asked in unison, clearly not paying any attention to me.
"Girls. We are going to get makeovers!"
Skye was examining her nails and when I said it she looked up.
"MAKEOVERS!?" they all screamed. In a flash they were gone and the front door was open. It took me a moment to understand what had just happened.
"Uh..." I struggled. I swear there were burn marks on the floor where they had ran.
"MOM! GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!" I heard Skye yell.
"Um... Coming!" I called as I grabbed my purse and ran out the door.

When we got there Skye was headed for the makeover station, but I grabbed her. Let the girls go first, I mouthed as Hadlee and Amber walked by.

And this is what my beautiful yellow haired twins ended up looking like! Aren't they beautiful? And since they just have to look the same they, well, got the same things done! I allowed a little bit of makeup this time even though I don't let my children wear it until they're teens. I swear I was their savior because of this.

Skye happily went next. And she looked H-O-T, HOT when she came out. Apparently she was so excited for a makeover because of this boy at school. And you want to know the irony in this whole thing? His name is Erik. And my friend Skye is dating a man named Erik. I think this is someone's way of punishing me. ^.^ I wouldn't be surprised if Skye went on to do the 100 baby challenge. Hm... that's a thought. (author's note: that really is a thought. Remind me I said this when I'm finished with Paisley's challenge)

And last and certainly least, (at least compared to my three beauties) is me. I personally liked what they did with me. I was happy when they chopped my mammoth hair off.
After that we went home and went to sleep. Those past two days were the best days of my life.
That is until I smelled gas. I woke up, called the fire department and woke all the kids up.
The fireman walked over to me after he was done. "There's a gas leak. You're going to have to leave until we can fix it," he said and walked away to begin fixing it.
I looked at my kids. No matter where we went there would be too many of us for one household. So, since it was the only thing to do, I made three of them age up so there would be room.

Want to know the truth? Well I'm gonna cut to the chase (mainly because I'm sick of writing so many descriptions) These three are all moving in together, Skye is a journalist and Hadlee and Amber are doctors. (together, of course) The three of them are exactly the same as they were in the beginning on this post. (sorry for my quick way out of describing but I have been working on this post forever and want to get it out!)
After they moved out and I nearly cried, I went to crash at Skye's house for a while, Thomas in tow. THREE DAYS later, I was able to move back in.

As I was fuming with anger about it taking so long, I got a call from the next challenge father. His name was Ya Hoo! And yes, the exclamation point is actually in his name. I find it funny that he's purple... And you know what? He's a Spanish purple Yahoo! impersonator!

When he got here I was honestly a little bit worried. I only know so much Spanish and now I have to have a baby with this person! What was I going to do? I only knew a limited amount!
"Hola!" I said as he walked through the door. "Yo me llamo Paisley Parker. Como te llamas?"
"Hola Paisley! Yo me llamo Ya Hoo! Um... Shall we?"
I assumed that was some of the limited amounts of English this guy knew, so I kept what I said limited as well.
"Si senor. This way!" I said, showing the way to my room.

After we finished I showed him to the door. "Um... Hasta luego Ya Hoo!"
"Si, hasta luego Paisley!" he said before he turned on his foot and walked to his car. I smiled. I had just successfully conceived a child with a native Spanish speaker and I didn't accidentally insult him! My life was then complete.

After that, though, it seemed different. I felt way more sick than with all the other pregnancies. It was strange. I felt more weak and exhausted, too. I was so weak I couldn't even open my dresser drawer without falling flat on my butt. There was something different about this pregnancy and I was worried. But, I told myself, just be strong. If there's something wrong with the baby or yourself the doctors will find it and fix it. Won't they?

The more time passed the more weak I became. I couldn't even lift my knife up enough to properly butter my PP&J! I got migraines and headaches way more than I usually do and I found myself constantly having to sit down. I could hardly keep my eyes open from being so exhausted and from being so weak. I slept much more than normal and I could barely eat. I swear I lost more weight than gained. I also threw up a lot more. Let's just say the bathroom was my friend for this pregnancy. As time wore on I couldn't even leave my room. I hired a babysitter and told him he could sleep downstairs in the teen's room. I was pale and couldn't keep my head up. Finally Skye called as I was laying in bed, hoping I would just die to get it over with.
"He--hello?" I struggled, after coughing my brains out, of course.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" was the bitter reply.
"Would you--" I started but of course a cough cut me off. "--just shut up? I already told you through text that--" Cue the cough. "--that I'm fine." Cue the sneeze.
"OH REALLY!? YOU CALL THIS FINE!?" she yelled. "You sound like you're about to die, you dingbat! I can't believe you haven't called a doctor!"
"The main reason is because I can't get enough energy to pick up the phone." I smiled slightly. I had finally gotten through a sentence without coughing.
Skye called a doctor and he came up to my room and checked me out. "Well Miss Parker, I can say with complete certainty that you are pregnant."
"Oh really? No way!" I said as sarcastically as I could.
"With quints."
My mouth dropped open. "Say what now?"
"Yes ma'am, you are sick because your body has never had to carry this many babies before. It's also undergoing a lot of stress. And you have a slight cold which is why you are coughing and sneezing so much. But you'll be fine. I would recommend staying in bed to give birth to these little devils, though," he said through a smile. "You wouldn't make it to the hospital."
I thanked him and he left. Thank goodness, I thought, I'm not dying. But then another thought occurred to me. QUINTS!? 

So, I stayed in bed until the babies, five, to be exact, were born. It was quite annoying to sit there for days. Skye waited on my hand and foot. I felt so bad but she claimed she was happy to do it. Yeah, sure, says the blue haired woman that is constantly insulting me. That blue haired buttface. (sorry Skye, but I just had to throw that last part in there!)

Then I greeted Jackie, Lily, Devin, Tony and Cory Parker into the world! I think we need a recount because my eyes just popped out of my head!
Lily and Cory are the two greenish babies, Jackie is the blue baby and Tony and Devin are the two normal skinned babies. Brace yourselves, it's going to be hectic!
(So, clearly I aged up and moved out Skye, Amber and Hadlee so I could have these five turds ^.^ Let's see how it goes!)